“She Ain’t Right For You”

Wrote me in a letter that she makes u feel better and all of the
Things u said to her but I feel what I feel, it’s real.

She ain’t right for you she don’t know you like I do, no matter
What she do she ain’t right for you, don’t u want to be happy?
Baby u should stay with me ’cause she ain’t right for you – she
Don’t love you like I do.

Turn me around. Turn me upside down sporting the tears of a
Clown but I feel what I feel, it’s real.

She ain’t right for you she don’t know you like I do, no matter
What she do she ain’t right for you, don’t u want to be happy?
Baby u should stay with me ’cause she ain’t right for you – she
Don’t love you like I do.

They will say that I spend all my days chasing a love that she
Took away but I feel what I feel.

You know baby I’ve been trying to tell you for a mighty long
Time now that u can keep looking u can keep searching all
Over the world. Trying to find a find a love like mine but the real
Thing is right here baby and no matter what she say no matter
What she do, she don’t like u like I do.

She ain’t right for you she don’t know you like I do, no matter
What she do she ain’t right for you, don’t u want to be happy?
Baby u should stay with me ’cause she ain’t right for you – she
Don’t love you like I do.

They will say that I spend all my days chasing a love that she
Took away but I feel what I feel

I found this quote on my blog surf and felt it hit home like nothing has ever had before..

this shall be my mantra from now on..only because i believe in everything it says and something i have lead my life by for soo long..

“I must learn to love the fool in me–the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool.” — Theodore I. Rubin, MD

I found a song that i use to love when i was way younger, it’s by ernie from sesame street. I had no idea why but the song use to make me feel sooo sad. I use to listen to it every time i fought with my brudder or parents and wished i could run away somewhere..and this song use to make me think otherwise..(like im going to get anywhere pass the corridor in the first place)..but u get me point..Ernie made me see that..without my dysfunctional family..i will be pretty bored..sooooooooooo..movin on

Many years later..there was this boy called Sanjay that i was email pals (like penpal) with. And he knew how much i wanted it to get hold of that song…coz at that point of time i had completely forgotten half the song and what it was called..or anything that would help in finding that song. But all i knew was that..there was “that song by ernie”..soo on my 17th birthday he sent the song to me as email attachment. And that was by far the sweetest thing a boy has ever done for me and i was sold. I was in love.

As we all know..my life is hardly a fairytale..of any sorts..since way back then. I found out he had a girlfriend. And that it was she..who actually managed to get hold of my ernie song. He saw me as the lil sister he never had (yuck). Oh well…i think that was my first proper heartbreak…that was a crush then actually did crush me. for a whole week. =)

here is ernie…and the song that still brings a tear..

love,me

I found this in my draft folder..dated April 11th, 2008, i dont know why i didnt  post it up. It made me smile..coz  im glad im still me =) :

The girls have been writing about matters of the heart…how we all deal with it so differently but yet…in search of a common goal. And that is to simply love unconditionally.. and to be loved half as much…

it aint easy..thats for sure…karen and myself share very much that same ideals when it comes to love..we are soo consuming that sometimes it can get a lil suffocatin..for the other party of course..however..being the advocates of love..that has never stop us for being intoxicated…to immerse oneself.. to completely and utterly loose any sort of inhabitations…to freefall…and hope that there are plush cushions all laid out..jus for us…most often than not..there weren’t even one cushion in sight…and yes..knees were scraped..chins were bruised..hearts were shattered.. but it was alrite..coz the human’s spirit..is a phenomenal thing…it feeds off what u believe.. the hope that u hold on too…and the blind faith that u allow urself to have.we survived.and trust me when i say..its alot harder when u aint conventional in any way.
i have had conversations with randoms…i realized that not everyone is capable of such love..not everyone is capable of dishing such love out…or capable of allowin themselves to be loved like that..

so we were asked by zee..wats our biggest regret..my biggest regret wldnt be somethin i did…its prob more of somethin that i didnt do…and yes babe..iv never regretted anythin iv done..esp when it was a decision taken solely by the heart..its true that sometimes.. common sense is chucked down the chute..and pride swallowed in whole..its prob not the smartest ting to do…but at the moment..with ur head in the clouds..and ur big red beatin heart at hand..notin can stop you…for it only feels like the right thing to do..it feels natural..and somewhere in ya peawee brain…it DOES make sense…it WILL fall in place… eventually.

i wanted to post a couple of videos for u guys..but fucking wordpress is being a bitch..soo here are the links..

i love u guys..

My friends are a royal pain in my arse. A pain I couldn’t live without tho…

But yes..since I opened my beeg fat mouth on facebook about wanting to blog again and such..they are now officially on my case..with smart arse zee reporting about it on her blog like its some front page news worthy kinda thingymajiggy..just kills it..i couldn’t stop laughin…

Soo as a coming back post.. I decided to write about the top 10 things I am grateful for this year…since we are almost done with 2008..and im feeling a lil emo..blame it on the christmas season..it always gets me all weepy..so here it goes..

I am truly grateful…

1) For getting myself a job with sane hours and also one that allows my family and friends perks.. hur hur

2) For Weddings. Seeing people I care about take that huge step. Just being able to be part of them, all the love, songs and dance..and the new lives these people have chosen to embark on..the adventures..the dreams..i cant help but feel excited for them..and that makes me happy =)

3) For letting go in a tasteful manner. something I should have purged out of my system ages ago..i feel liberated..i guess I never gave myself enough credit that way..to be able to live and let live..

4) For the breakfast my mom,dad and brother take turns to make for me every day,the smiley face toasted breads and the surprise muffin treats. im thankful..

5) For Prav’s and Viggy’s graduation..im proud of the boys… =)

6) For not having those dreaded cyst in my womb..and for Sheila nair (Loh)

7) For Charles and Keith shoes..not for the comfort but just for the fact that they had shoes in size 10 when I needed them!

8 .  For my family..for being resilient. Enough said….

9) For my starbucks organizer and actually keeping my appointments and promises with people

10) My life support.My friends.For being the greatest bunch of people i have ever met.God spent a lil more time on u guys. He made ur hearts a lil bigger and ur hugs a lil tighter.the bond I share with each one of u crazy arses and how we drag each other thru life,never fails to amaze me. Never a dull moment..never time to sit and sulk in self pity..I realized that im in a relationship with each and every one of u..and how you each contribute to me being me…healthy or not..i wouldn’t have it any other way…for im blessed..=)

i would love to write more..but im exhausted from work..i dread working during the christmas season..im not cut out for it..i have always been jobless during christmas..not very proud of it..but thats the truth..oh well..ill quit complaining and be grateful that i still have a job. Since  the point of this whole post is all about  being grateful.

i love u all asswipes..and thanks for looking out for my “born again virgin” post..

i decided to write again…yes yes..i know…dont have to say it…heard it allllllllll…and love u guys jus the same!

i jus wanted to type somethin….

okie lah..ill write more..later…now im gona go stick my face in facebook…

anyone wants a gucci bag?

much love peewees…

hello??????